Do They Understand?

The Journey of a Caregiver

It is so easy for those outside of your world as a caregiver to disdainfully assert that you should be in full control of your emotions at all times. I recall years ago after sharing this particular verse on a caregivers’ group that the admin of the group accused me of abusing my husband and threatened to report me. Where she came up with that, I didn’t know. My anger never jeopardized his well-being. I simply spoke sharply at those moments when anger arose.

Of course, I didn’t really care what she thought. After the sharpness of my words, I was only concerned if he still understood that I loved him, that I was just scared.

A couple of years after John passed away, I discovered a digital diary among his computer files. This was before he suffered from the ten days of continuous seizures, about 9 years into his ill health. He had written these words: “I don’t know what I would have done without Dannye. She is always there for me.” When I read those words, my heart began to heal.

Do They Understand?

As caregivers our fear can quickly morph into anger.

We panic when they do things that aren't safe.

Then our anger erupts when nothing we say

changes their actions to keep it from happening.

We feel bad that we let our anger erupt

but we can’t seem to stop it when it comes.

We will always love them and push ourselves

to the limit to keep them safe and well.

We can only hope they are able to understand –

we are not angry with them, but rather at life

and toward our own feelings of inadequacy

for the task which life has dealt us.

All the best on your quest,
Dannye