Where I Need To Be

The Journey of a Caregiver

These words poured out of me during a time when I felt myself getting lost. Every moment of my days and nights revolved around his needs and seemed to accentuate where I was falling short in my eyes. When he was sleeping, my mind would first focus on what else I could do to help him but would slip uninvited into wondering how I could make any of it happen.

Where I Need To Be

I wish that I could slip back in time 
to when money was not an issue.
If I could, I would hire help -
a part-time caregiver, a housekeeper.
I would take myself out to lunch 
once a week and not worry about him.
I would hire a personal therapist 
to help keep him strong enough
to stave off the worst of Parkinson’s.
I would buy him an adjustable bed
so he could leave the recliner behind. 
Today these seem like fanciful dreams.
Today, I need to be here when he needs me, 
even when inside I am screaming
or crying or just feeling lonely. 
I will try not to let reality bring me down.
I will hold tightly to the day at hand
for I don’t know what tomorrow may bring.
Still, I will open my heart and my mind
to explore with wisdom and hope
any path that Spirit reveals to me.
Despite everything, I still believe in miracles.

All the best on your quest,
Dannye

https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Caregiver-Dannye-Williamsen-ebook/dp/B0CZYNNYP8