Tips for Handling Stress
We missed National Stress Awareness Month in April, but today it seems there are plenty of reasons to feel stressed. First, though, I have a few questions. Are you cycling through feeling anxious, irritable or depressed? Do you have to push to stay in there? Are you tossing and turning at night? Has fatigue become your life partner? Are you easily distracted?
Stress is defined as “a state of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium.” I usually think of stress as a state of mind and view tension as a physical state. Since your mental world creates your physical world, let’s talk about what goes on in your mind to create stress and ultimately body tension.
Causes of Stress
Your state of mind is swayed by many things.
When you are stressed, you have usually allowed yourself to be influenced by what you believe others expect of you. This is often expressed through perfectionism, which is essentially trying to make sure no one can find anything wrong with what you do. This is an impossible task because if someone wants to find something wrong, believe me, they will!
You can also be in reaction to what has happened to date in your life or your business. If things aren’t going well, it’s easy to justify ranting and raving about the state of your affairs. It’s also easy to dismiss the accomplishments of others out of jealousy or frustration. All of these put you in a negative state of mind. This uses up a lot of energy, draining you and leaving little energy for positive movement in your life.
You can also sabotage yourself by making your environment unmanageable. What’s your desk look like? How many times a day do you get frustrated because you can’t find what you’re looking for? Is your appointment schedule too tight and consequently, you’re always late? Do you fall down a rabbit hole on the internet trying to keep up with current events?
You can also sabotage yourself by setting unrealistic deadlines. When I say unrealistic, I mean deadlines that put too much pressure on you and are not necessary. Trust me when I say that the world is not holding their breath for you to get that page updated on your web site. The only ones judging you and reacting to something about your web site will not be that big a loss. There’s a big target market out there, and you only want to work with those who are in harmony with you anyway. So don’t let them be the source of stress for you!
Eliminating the influence these things have over you requires the discipline of self-observation. When you begin to feel pushed or stressed, ask yourself why. Are you pushing because of some unnecessary deadline or someone else’s expectations? Are you making your life more difficult than it needs to be?
If you’re honest with yourself and change your approach, you should begin to feel your stress lessening. Doing what feels good sounds naughty, but it is the path to mental recovery for those of us who have let stress take over our lives.
What Does Stress Have to Do with Burnout?
Stress usually occurs when you try to do too much for whatever reason or put too many expectations on yourself. It can manifest in a physical manner, such as unexplained aches and pains. It can also manifest emotionally, which results in hyper-sensitivity, emotional outbursts, anxiety attacks, etc.
If stress is viewed as an engine of activity, then burnout would be the point when the engine no longer has enough fuel to keep it going. Burnout is when you throw up your hands and disengage because you just can’t get your mind around your life or your work anymore. Your emotions are so dulled that you’re not even sure you are alive. You have no motivation, no hope. You have no idea where to turn or what to do. In extreme cases, life no longer holds much attraction.
Burnout is closely connected to certain types of personality traits.
If you are an over-achiever, it may be difficult to ever succeed enough to recognize and appreciate the positive energy that comes from recognition or rewards for your work. It’s never enough.
If you have a poor self-image, your lack of self-worth can make you dependent on external reinforcement. Failure to receive it can lead to disappointment and ultimately, burnout.
If you are an under-achiever, that is, someone who does not perform at expected levels, whether your own or someone else’s, you may have little tolerance when confronted by frustration, self-doubt, anxiety, or a fear of the future.
You can have various reactions to life and business. Consequently, things such as the inconsistency of financial return with a start-up business can frustrate an under-achiever and lead to stress. If life circumstances demand that he/she must continue in place, ultimately, the combination of self-doubt, anxiety and fear of the future can result in disengagement or burnout.
Workable Solutions
1. Implement some type of physical exercise in your life. Walking 3-5 times a week is the easiest way to begin.
2. Use strategies in your every day life that will nourish you.
Be sure to eat 3 meals a day. Burnout or stress can cause you to overlook meal times.
Get at least 7 hours of sleep at night. Use sound machines to help you go to sleep if necessary.
Start accepting invitations from friends. If you don’t have friends nearby, go to a coffee shop or the mall so that you are around people. Strike up conversations.
If there is something you used to enjoy doing for yourself, like getting a massage or going to the park or watching a local ball game, then do it.
Reading is a great escape from stress.
Take 15 minute breaks during the day to regain your equilibrium.
3. Practice keeping a positive attitude about life. It’s not easy to go from depressed to joyful. So initially, just try to live in a neutral place — a place where you’re not negative. You may not be able to think of a positive stance, but you know you’ll be open to it when it comes. Once you have cut yourself off from negativity for a while, the trip to joyful won’t be so difficult.
4. Take time to analyze your life and your business. See if you can shed all the “I shoulds” and uncover more of the “I wants.”
5. Determine if stress has created habits that are damaging to you, either physically or mentally, and work to stop them. Do you eat way too many sweets as a comfort food? Do you chew on your nails? Do you work 10 or more hours per day?
6. Explore your feelings about your connection to a Higher Source. Developing a conscious connection to Spirit can make a huge difference in your perspective on life. This is a highly personal experience. Don’t worry about others’ belief systems.
7. Develop a game plan based on the discoveries you’ve made about yourself and your true desires so that you can reclaim excitement, meaning, and direction for your life.
So, use this month to make yourself aware of how stress is impacting your life. Then tweak your life to get yourself back onto a creative and joyful path.
All the best on your quest,
Dannye
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